Don't Tease Us, UsWeekly!

The newest cover of UsWeekly shows Angelina Jolie looking thin and draws you in with the 'secrets' of how she got so skinny after having her twins. You should see the 'before' picture! She's '50 pounds heavier.'

HELLO? It's called giving birth! Who wouldn't lose 50 pounds after popping out two babies?

But wait. Grab a pen, because for her diet, she ate fruits, veggies, and lean meats. Well, that's one for the record books.

So unless you're going to tell me how Nicole Richie eats Doritos and pasta everyday, doesn't workout, and manages to weigh 110 pounds, don't waste my time.